


Sparks of the Soul

by twangcat



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Everybody Lives, Falling In Love, M/M, it doesn't always happen the way you expect, more to Charlie than meets the eye, note the rating - not a smut fic, soulmate bonds, there is a little bit of bdsm but just a little bit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-20
Updated: 2016-02-20
Packaged: 2018-05-22 05:27:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6066907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twangcat/pseuds/twangcat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So imagine the kind of soulmate AU where you have an empathic connection from birth. The kind where if we were talking about Stucky, Bucky would have trouble breathing every time Steve had an asthma attack or if you ship Phlint, when Phil is a teenager he literally feels his soulmate experience the shock of being born and a few years later, too few, he has trouble sleeping because he can feel Clint going to bed hungry and bruised and it hurts.</p>
<p>But today we aren’t talking about those ships, today we are talking about Merlie (Merlin/Charlie from Kingsman) and how relationships don't always happen the way you might expect.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sparks of the Soul

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to Bulletproof_Vee for seducing me into this ship and for the excellent feedback on this fic!

Merlin was born poor. The kind of poor you aren’t ever supposed to get out of, but he’s also brilliant. His mum almost made it out but, she got pregnant at 16. That burst any hope of further education, but it also gave her Merlin who got all of her cleverness and thankfully nothing from his unknown father. She pushes hard to get him into a good school on scholarship from a young age and she never let's him forgot that he can achieve anything he sets his mind to. 

Merlin is positively precocious and the teachers recognize his talent, but by the time a child is old enough to go to school and earn a scholarship, their patterns of speech are firmly established.  Merlin can’t open his mouth without making it obvious that he doesn’t belong. He has to work twice as hard as his classmates to get the same respect, but he does it and he doesn't complain. 

When he’s a teenager he finally feels that spot in his mind that everyone talks about spark to life. He's the last of his peers to get a soulmate so he doesn't make a big deal about it at school but when he goes home he can't hide the smile on his face when he tells his mum. He whoops for joy and they dance around their small flat to celebrate. His mum opens the Christmas savings money and buys two big juicy steaks for them to have a celebration dinner. She has never yet found her soulmate (it's a big wide world and when you can't afford to travel outside your city much less your county the odds aren't good) but she is happy for him and encourages him to dream.

They stay up late, well past his bed time on a school night imagining what his soulmate will be like. Merlin declares, “I don't care if she's pretty as long as she's smart.” 

His mum beams at him and says, “I just know yer gal is gonna be a force to be reckoned with, just like you. You'll be able to take over the world you will, the two of ya.”

But his soulmate’s childhood hurts in ways Merlin has never felt. Merlin’s been alone, he’s been mocked, bullied, and ostracized, but he’s never been lonely the way his soulmate is. It’s a touch-starved loneliness, it’s a no one to share pain or joy with loneliness, it’s a feeling alone in crowded room loneliness, and it  _ hurts _ . Even on his worst days, Merlin had his mum to come home to. On those days she would hug him and kiss him on the forehead and promise him that tomorrow would be better, and he would believe her. His soulmate doesn't have that.

His soulmate grows up and slowly becomes numb to the pain.

Merlin works hard to get through school and into Kingsman and he also experiments. He learns he likes men better than women, that he’d rather top than bottom and that he really loves to be in control and dominate his partner. As standard Kingsman protocol, he learns to shield himself from his soulmate, it wouldn’t do for agents to be causing panic at home every time their lives were in danger.

When Merlin first meets Charlie, he’s impressed by his cleverness and his abilities, but Charlie is not his type. Charlie’s walls are up too high; he’s too arrogant and there is a coldness to him that is… off-putting. It’s not until the loyalty test, when Charlie is more terrified than he’s ever been in his life, that Merlin recognizes the pattern--the increasing bouts of extreme emotion, the anxiety, the fear -- he’s been experiencing Charlie’s training.

And now he’s experiencing Charlie’s failure.

His soulmate is a failure.

His soulmate is a spoiled rich boy who never had to work a day for anything in his life and who failed the loyalty test.

Merlin is so absolutely disgusted by him, he never wants to set eyes on the boy again in his life. He’d rather be alone for the rest of his life then have to drag a weak man like that through life with him. Merlin has worked hard for every single thing he’s ever earned in life and he is so pissed off with the universe for saddling him with a soulmate who, as far as he can tell, is a failure of a human being.

For only the second time in Merlin’s life, he chooses to keep something important a secret from his mum. She believes the tailor shop is a cover for MI6. She knows to tell everyone that he is a tailor, but he couldn't let his mum think that was all he amounted to in life, not after everything she did for him. The second secret is that he found his soulmate and he is nothing like the equal partner they had once dreamed of for him. His soulmate is someone he is ashamed of. Merlin had always held on to the romantic dream that he might find his soulmate someday, someone he could love and cherish, someone who would challenge him, someone he could be proud to introduce to his mum. Charlie is none of those things. Charlie is worthy of the neighborhood boys he grew up with who picked on him and never tried to better themselves. It's like the universe gave him a soulmate based on where he was born instead of the man he has become and the injustice of it burns inside him.

He gives himself that one night to dwell and stew and feel bitter, and then the next day he shows up for work as if nothing has changed. 

He busies himself preparing everything for the new Lancelot (whoever it will be) and following up on all the possible leads about Valentine. 

He is perturbed to learn that Charlie hasn't left. He isn't making a nuisance of himself or anything, he just seems to be dragging his feet about completing all the administrative tasks associated with leaving Kingsman. Merlin should be chasing him off, it’s his responsibility to ensure the failed candidates exit, but he can’t bring himself to go see the boy and for some reason Charlie is acting as though he's content to languish in limbo.

Then Merlin doesn't have time to think about Charlie anymore because Eggsy fails his final test and Harry asks Merlin, not as a kingsman agent but as his best friend, to join him for a drink. Harry and Eggsy consummated their bond almost as soon as Harry recovered from the coma and the mutual adoration between them had been almost palpable. Merlin had never seen Harry so happy and the contrast with his current mood is heartbreaking. 

Harry pours them both drinks. “I could feel it through the bond the moment he knew he had failed. He was so furious with Arthur I thought he might actually kill him. He is never going to want to be a part of Kingsman in any capacity. ”

Harry looks so devastated, Merlin has to ask the taboo question. “Has he severed the bond? Are you going to be okay?” 

A soulmate bond can only be severed after it has been consummated and it is the heart of most Shakespearian tragedies when one part of a couple is manipulated into severing a bond. One or both usually die of a broken heart. 

Harry’s lips quirk in a sad smile. “My sweet boy? No. He would never hurt me like that, but I fear it will be some time before he lights up my days again.”

“Lights up your days?” Asks Merlin. 

Harry raises an eyebrow at him. “When Eggsy is happy I can feel it inside. It's like… champagne bubbles bursting in my mind. It's more intense now that we've consummated the bond but it's always been there; every time he felt loved or happy, I could always feel it and it lit up my days.” Harry hesitates before continuing. “Forgive me for asking, but did you lose your soulmate very young that you've never felt this?”

Merlin's thoughts are racing. He hasn't lost his soulmate. He knows exactly where his soulmate is and he has never felt sparks like that.

He has felt sparks of fear, isolation, grim satisfaction, but all the times he heard that arrogant cocky boy laugh during training, he never once felt an actual spark of happiness from him.

Merlin remembers the loneliness he felt from Charlie as a child.

He remembers the way Charlie worked so hard for approval from the Kingsman, how quick he was to answer the first question and every question after.

The revelations hit him with all the mercy of a prize fighter pummeling a punching bag.

His poor boy. Charlie has never felt love or support from anyone who didn’t want something from him. He’s never had any kind of support network. Born with a silver spoon or not, no one has ever coddled or loved him in his entire life. Really it’s a miracle he made it as far as he did. God, but that boy must have an internal strength to rival anyone Merlin has ever known. 

And the idea of dominating a man like that? Of having a man of such strength, determination, and drive submit to him? It blows his mind. It’s everything he ever dreamed of but didn’t know was possible. It hits him like bolt of lightning--he does not want to lose this man.

Harry says, “Are you quite alright?”

Merlin’s face has lost most of what colour it usually has. He says, “It’s Charlie.” 

Harry gives him time to find his words.

“I only realized yesterday, Charlie Hesketh is my soulmate; and in all the years I've never felt sparks like that from him. He was lonely, so painfully lonely and unloved as a child. All of his life, he's never had anyone he could trust. He's been hurt and betrayed by everyone who should have protected him and wanted only by people who wanted to use him for his name. Surviving all of that and molding himself into a man who was a final three to become a Kingman Knight… My god Harry, can you imagine what he could be capable of with even the smallest encouragement? Of course he failed the loyalty test, he's never in his life experienced loyalty, how could we expect him to show it?”

Harry listens with uncharacteristic silence and, also uncharacteristically, does not not refill Merlin’s drink.

Merlin felt the inevitability of it hit him: he had to at least talk to Charlie. The boy had never felt an ounce of familial kindness and at the very least Merlin doesn’t want to be the one to cause the boy more pain. If he is very lucky, maybe his coldness and quick judgment of Charlie hasn't destroyed any chance that Charlie will open up to him; let Merlin take care of him and show him what it feels like to be loved.

Loved? Did he really feel that already? No, surely not. Not yet. He hardly knew the lad, they had yet to have a single person conversation.  It couldn’t be possible for Merlin to love him yet. Respect? Yes. Compassion? Yes. A desire to heal and protect? Definitely.

 

* * *

 

Merlin finds Charlie in the now abandoned barracks. He’s sitting on his bunk with a book on his lap, looking for all the world like a gentleman taking his ease. But now that Merlin knows what he’s looking for he can feel the turmoil inside his boy--the anxiety, recrimination, and so much disappointment in himself.  It tastes as bitter as poison. 

Charlie jumps to his feet and stands at attention, silent, awaiting punishment.

Merlin says, “At ease, Charlie. I’m not here as your supervisor. I’d errr. I’d like to talk to you about a personal matter, if I may.”

Through the bond Merlin feels Charlie’s anxiety spike. Charlie flashes him a winning smile and, cool as can be, offers him a seat. Even on his back foot and feeling completely helpless, Charlie is still a gentleman. How could Merlin not have seen it before?

Charlie says, “Of course. What can I do for you? I know this ended badly, but I’ve been very impressed by the Kingsman organization. When I return to my father’s company I would be interested in exploring possible partnership opportunities. Some of your more mundane departments may benefit from the expertise of my family’s business.”

The desperation is rolling off of Charlie in waves, but outwardly he’s poised and just the right degree of arrogant for a business conversation. His boy is going to be brilliant at undercover work.

Merlin says, “I’m afraid it’s not a business conversation either. I’m sorry to spring it on you like this, but it has recently come to my attention that we are soulmates.”

One blink is all that gives Charlie away, but the shock of surprise feels like a lance through Merlin’s chest; the anger that follows is unexpected.

Charlie snaps at Merlin, “Bugger off mate! I treat you with respect and you come in here taking the micky out of me like this?” He narrows his eyes at Merlin. “I will end this punny archaic joke of an organization. You’ll see what happens when I tell the world about you!”

Merlin had no idea this would be such a tender topic for his boy, but Charlie’s words roll off Merlin like water off a duck’s back. The hurt the boy feels is palpable, so much so that it’s hard for Merlin to breathe, and he wonders that Charlie can’t feel how hard this conversation is for Merlin. Charlie can be cruel and lash out when attacked, but this kind of unprovoked attack is out of character for him.

Unconsciously Merlin strengthens his shields in response to his own emotional turmoil; and then he freezes.

Of course to Charlie it feels like Merlin is lying because Merlin has exceptional shields on his bond and he hasn't been feeling any of Merlin's desire to comfort him, protect him, touch him, for any of this conversation. Thanks to Merlin’s shields, everything must have felt muted to Charlie for years.

It’s an act of will for Merlin to lower his shields. He strips away his protections, layer by painful layer. It’s like trying to unclench a fist whose muscles have spasmed into tightness and it also feels like he’s striping himself naked for the first time in years -- the vulnerability is terrifying.

He both sees and feels the realization dawning on Charlie as the connection between them strengthens. Charlie’s emotions flicker too rapidly for Merlin to follow. He says, “So what do you want now that you know?”

Charlie’s suspicion is understandable, but it still hurts. Merlin sees Charlie register the pain his words cause Merlin and he feels Charlie’s responding surprise. Merlin says calmly, “You don’t know this about me, but I’m very much a self-made man; and, I know you don’t have any reason to believe me, but I don’t want  _ anything  _ from the Hesketh family. I came back for you.”

Charlie’s eyes go wide with surprise and hope. He reaches out a tentative hand to Merlin. “You came back for me? I failed your test… Why would you want me?”

Merlin’s desire to claim, shelter and protect Charlie from literally everyone who ever made him doubt his own worth fills Merlin with the force of a raging river. With fascination, he watches the force of his emotion hit Charlie like a physical force. He can see and feel the shock it causes him.

Charlie rocks back on his heels and has to grab onto Merlin’s arm to keep his balance.

Merlin fights hard against his instinct to slam his barriers back into place, the act of will has his heart pounding because he wants to feel safe and protected behind his shields, but he knows that his boy needs this. Charlie has never believed another person would care for him, would want him for who he was and not what he could do for them; Charlie needs Merlin to be vulnerable now.

Merlin strokes Charlie’s hand. “Yes. I came back for you. I think there is so much more to you than any test could show, and if you’ll permit me, I’d like get to know you better. Not for your family name and to be perfectly frank, not even for Kingsman, although I if you're still interested I think we may be able to work something out there, but because I think you are a fascinating young man who is brilliant and strong and also stunningly beautiful.”

Merlin feels the sparks in his mind start to build as he talks and sees a corresponding smile on Charlie’s face. It’s just like Harry said, those sparks of joy are electrifying and he’d give anything to feel them again. And Charlie’s smile… for the first time it’s not sneering or cocky or smirking, it’s genuine joy and hope.

It is the most beautiful sight Merlin has ever seen and for a moment he loses himself in those perfect blue eyes that crinkle at the edges and his soft pink lips that are just begging to be adored. 

Merlin breathed, “I would dearly love to kiss you, my boy.”

Charlie huffs a laugh that’s equal parts disbelief and joy but the sparks in Merlin’s soul start to feel like fireworks.

Merlin tugs him ever so gently closer and Charlie is so perfectly docile, leaning in to the sweet soft kiss. His lips are supple against Merlin’s and the kiss is slightly awkward because Charlie won’t stop smiling, but it’s also perfect.

The sparks of joy build in an infinite crescendo as each new movement and touch adds to the pleasure and their mutual joy builds on each other’s.

When he first thought about this, there was a carnal desire to dominate Charlie and force him to his knees; but now that he's actually got his arms around his soulmate, for the first time he can remember, he doesn't crave more intensity or more control.

Merlin loses track of time as they just stand there kissing. There is enough space between their bodies to feel like a middle school dance but there is no hurry to push for more. The kiss has all the innocence of children on the playground kissing and all the comfort of an old married  couple.

He explores Charlie’s mouth and runs his hands up Charlie’s arms just to the feel the solidness of his soulmate in his arms. Charlie hesitantly closes the distance and Merlin can feel his desperate longing for more and fear of rejection.

He pulls his boy tight into his arms and nips possessively at his lips, filling the bond with all the desire he has to give Charlie all the love he’s ever been denied. Charlie sinks into his embrace and clings to Merlin beautifully, trusting his soulmate to take care of him.

Every step along the way, Charlie’s fear spikes, afraid that this beautiful gift will be taken away from him at the last minute, and wordlessly Merlin soothes away all of his worries with soft kisses and gentle touches.

When they finally make love it's soft and slow and more satisfying than Merlin thought vanilla sex could be.

Merlin thinks he could be happy just with Charlie. He doesn’t need the games or the kink or the submission, not if he can have Charlie in his arms. Wonderful, scared, beautiful, eager Charlie who responds so perfectly to his every touch. This could be enough.

They made love in the barracks and afterwards, lying together sweaty and sated, Merlin swears he’ll delete the footage from every backup file that exists. But that is a problem for tomorrow. He pulls the blankets up around them and wraps Charlie up in his arms. Tonight, is just for Charlie.

When he wakes a few hours later, there is a message on his phone from Harry, bless him--Galahad has deleted the footage and arranged with Arthur for Merlin to have the day off.

Charlie looks like a perfect angel sleeping in Merlin’s arms. His strong sharp nose, lithe muscles, and plump lips that are just begging Merlin to kiss them. Merlin doesn’t resist. 

Half asleep, Charlie opens up beautifully for him and hums with pleasure at the touch.

Merlin whispers, “Let’s go home my darling boy.”

Eyes still closed, Charlie whispers, “This feels like a dream.”

Merlin can't resist brushing their lips together again in the softest of kisses. “It does,” he murmurs in Charlie’s ear. “But if I have it my way, we'll never wake up.”

 

* * *

 

 

Merlin is planning a day of really getting to know his soulmate, of finding out everything from what his favourite flavour of ice cream is, to who his favourite ancient philosopher is (and why), to what household chores he would prefer to do, in addition to finding out how many times he can make his boy come in one day.

He is not expecting to be called back into work mere hours later because the entire world is falling apart. He orders Charlie to stay home and stay safe. He kisses his boy once and then once more before forcing himself to say goodbye and take up his responsibilities as a Kingsman.

They survive Valentine’s attack, Harry miraculously survives although his recovery is long and slow, and Merlin goes home to find Charlie safe and waiting for him. Although Merlin would enjoy nothing more than spending every free moment that he has alone with Charlie, he also wants to check in on his mother as soon as possible. 

Years ago Merlin bought his mum a posh unit in a lovely gated community. High-end enough he felt confident that all of her needs would be met if he wasn't around, but not so high-end that she felt out of place. 

After the world almost ends, Merlin can't reach his mum or anyone in the building where she lives, and it feels like the most natural thing in the world to keep Charlie with him when he goes to check on her. Merlin gave his mum instructions on how to stay safe, but there is no guarantee that someone didn't hurt her. She’s spry for a woman almost 60, but Merlin can't stop hitting redial on his phone and wishing he had better visual satellite coverage of the building. 

Charlie offers to drive and Merlin is happy to accept. Charlie must be able to feel the anxiety rolling off of Merlin because he breaks every speed limit on the way over and gets them there in half the time it usually takes. 

There is no power in the building and it's clear the police haven't gotten here yet because there are corpses everywhere. 

Merlin races down the halls to his mum's suite but his key is useless because the door handle has been ripped off and no amount of banging will open it.

He’s about to go in search of a fire axe to break down the door when he hears a voice on the other side say, “I ain't openin’ that there door until me son says it safe so be off with ya, wanker!”

Merlin laughs with joy and relief and Charlie squeezes him tight in celebration. 

Merlin calls back, “Mum, it's me. Please open the door.”

She replies, “Well alright then, but this might take a minute, I blocked the door right good.”

When she finally gets the door open, Merlin sees that his clever mother had taken the wheels off of one side of the dresser and tipped it partially over to make a strong triangle shape to block the door. 

But while Merlin is busy examining the door, his mother is busy staring at his left hand which, he realizes too late, is still entwined with Charlie’s hand.

Merlin blushes and tries to think of something to say but his mum beats him to it and with a knowing smile she says, “Well he looks to be the right age,” before wrapping her small arms around both of them.

Merlin insists on taking his mum home until the building where she lives is cleaned up and the three of them spend the rest of the day together. At first, Charlie was shocked by his mum's rough way of speaking, but he was soon won over by her quick wit and easy way with people. By the time they get back to Merlin's house they are engaged in a lively debate about the influence of American media on British television. 

The next day, Merlin goes back in to work early and has to stay late; but when he finally gets home, his house is filled with the delicious aromas of homemade food. It turns out that Charlie loves to cook and a few probing questions from Charlie to Merlin’s mum about what Merlin’s favorite foods were as a child, was all it took to kick off a cooking extravaganza that would put some reality TV to shame.

Charlie looks so good standing in Merlin’s kitchen, wearing his apron, and with just a touch of frosting still on his lips; Merlin can't stop himself from kissing him. 

They end up in the bedroom (his mum may have made herself scarce from the kitchen when it became obvious that this was more than just a ‘hello’ kiss, but she is still in the house somewhere) and Merlin can't keep his hands off his perfect boy.

As the world returns to normal, Merlin’s mum returns home (but not before extracting a promise from Charlie that he will call her ‘mum’ from now on) and Merlin and Galahad turn their attention to rebuilding Kingsman. 

With the shortage of Knights, Merlin slots Charlie back into the lineup, insists that he apologize to Eggsy for his rude behaviour, and although there is the occasional backslide into the arrogance he used to use as a defense mechanism, now that Charlie has Merlin to care for him, he blossoms beautifully as a Knight.

Charlie becomes the man he always had the potential to be. He becomes their top undercover agent and Merlin watches his growth with pride. His soulmate is the best of the Knights (although he and Harry have the occasional friendly debate about this point over drinks when, in the privacy of a quiet club, they take turns going on and on about how perfect their soulmates are). 

As a gentleman does, Merlin keeps the praise moderate in public, however he showers his boy with all the praise in the world at home, and Charlie learns to believe in himself. 

They make love every time they get the chance and although Merlin and Charlie have strict rules about what’s permissible at work (there are certain things a gentleman just does not do in one's place of business) they make up for all those hours of self-restraint the moment they get home and can get their hands on each other.

Not long after Charlie has finally settled in at Kingsman, they are cuddling on the couch watching nothing in particular on the telly and just enjoying each other’s company when Charlie pulls the metaphorical rug out from under Merlin. “Luv, can I ask you for something?”

If it weren’t for the bond, Merlin would just kiss his head and say, ‘Of course, darling,’ but Merlin can feel the nervousness behind the question.

He shuts off the telly and turns to give his boy his full attention. “Anything, my darling.”

Charlie says in a rush, “I love you and everything we do together…” Merlin stops his worried words with a kiss.

“Just ask me, dearest. If you wanted the moon, I would get it for you.”

Charlie says, “You don’t have to, and I know it’s a mite odd...”

Merlin kisses him gently and floods the bond with all the love and respect he feels for his perfect mate. “Anything, my dearest.”

Charlie can’t meet his eyes and his cheeks are flushed with embarrassment but he doesn’t feel alarmed so Merlin gives him time. Barely above a whisper, he says, “Would you spank me before taking me to bed?”

The intensity of the arousal that courses through Merlin shocks even him. He'd thought he didn't want this anymore, not now that he had Charlie. But Charlie  _ asking _ him for it is quite possibly the most arousing thing he's ever experienced. 

Charlie gasps in response to what he feels and he's laughing when he teases, “Is that a ‘yes’, luv?” with a wink.

Merlin is already pulling his boy up by his hand. He growls, “I’ll spank your lovely arse so it’s pink and glowing and, little love, I’ll make sure you enjoy every moment of it.”

It’s a thing of beauty how quickly Charlie learns to submit to Merlin. He serves Merlin dinner, sits by his feet while they watch telly, begs beautifully for a whipping before bed, and wears a plug all day just so he can be ready for Merlin at night. He looks prettier than a picture with his arms tied behind his back, tears streaming down his face, alligator style clamps biting into the skin where he’s most tender--around his nipples, under his arms, on his ball sack--and muscles trembling to keep the pose Merlin has put him in because his poor weeping and aching cock will get no release if he moves.

He’s perfect for Merlin in every way and Merlin gives his boy everything he needs. 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are like hugs! I love hugs! (and comments!)  
> I know Merlie is a baby ship, but if you read all the way to the end, I'd love to know what you think :)


End file.
